Accepting Help
Admit You Need Help
The first step to getting help is admitting to yourself that you need it. When I had my first baby I thought I had to do it on my own, I wouldn’t really accept help from anyone or at least it was rare for me to ask for any help.
Don’t Resist Help
Resisting help started when I was pregnant, I was offered a social worker at the hospital at my antenatal appointments and I always refused because I genuinely thought that they would try taking my baby off me, it was my biggest fear, but this isn’t true at all.
The fear stemmed from my past, I was taken off of my parents and put into foster care at the age of 2 so I feared my background would negatively impact the way social workers would view me especially hearing many stories of other people who went through the care system who had their babies taken away from them.
Resisting help lead to so much more anxiety and left me isolated and I carried so much fear. I struggled with extreme intrusive thoughts for the first year after having my oldest daughter, as well as nightmares mostly of losing my baby.
Acceptance
When I fell pregnant with my second baby I made the decision that I wasn’t going to try do everything on my own, I decided I would accept help from both professionals such as the social worker at the antenatal appointments, as well as family members and friends.
Reach Out
To be able to ask for help you have to first figure out what your needs are. What exactly do you need, how can you or someone else tend to that need?
You also need to figure out who is your support system. Who can you ask for help, once you know who supports you, you can then start putting your hand up when you need help. You will then know who you can call when you need someone to talk to or who can help you with house hold chores when you’re in the thick of the postpartum phase or having a bad mental health week! And hopefully you’ll have someone you trust to babysit when you need some time to yourself.
Reaping the Benefits
Since starting to ask for help and accepting help, my life has changed for the better! I got so much help when I was pregnant with my second baby, while I was pregnant I was seeing a social worker who referred me to a service called PIMHS, and another organisation called Brighter Futures. Through PIMHS I have a support worker and psychiatrist who have helped me to figure out what I need and lead me in the right direction to sourcing what I need. Now i’m starting to heal and llearning to regulate my emotions, the intrusive thoughts are not as intense and I see hope for my future!
