I Hope…

I hope she thinks “Mum is always there for me”

I hope she can one day say “Mum made sure things happened, no matter how hard it got”

I hope she can look back on her life and say “My Mum was there for everything that mattered, she was there for every celebration”

I hope she thinks “Mum always takes care of me and makes sure I have what I need”

I hope she can one day say “Mum was the very best cheerleader”

I hope she can look towards the future and say “I will carry her love,care and strength with me forever”

Food Recovery

Food Noise

I think about food all the time, I can’t seem to stop. Why do I keep thinking about food and why can’t I just stop myself from eating? I don’t undestand why I don’t stop myself when it should be something so simple and so easy.

It’s something I feel great embarrasment and guilt about, eating in secret and hiding food, feeling incredibly sick and uncomfortable and yet I still continue to do it. How do I stop? How can I heal from this? Why did I start doing this in the first place?

I’m on a journey to try and find answers to these questions although I think I know where it stems from already.

How It Started

I was 13 when I started getting comments about my body, I was always thin growing up but once I became a teenager and my body started changing (as it should when you are growing out of becoming a child) I started getting called “sugar hips” by a foster mother because apparently the sugar I put in my tea was “going straight to my hips” … As a growing teenage girl your hips are supposed to grow, it is biologically normal for these changes to happen but as a 13 year old I was not taught that the changes and the growth happening to my body was normal. So I decided I needed to lose weight, it took one comment for 13 year old me to start counting my calories and weighing myself every single day. I would have mental challenges with myself on how little I could eat and how much weight I could lose each week.

When I was 14 I was only 49 kg and still fixated on how small I could get and the same foster mother that called me sugar hips encouraged me to use laxatives to help me lose weight, so 14 year old me started having a laxative after every meal. I didn’t know how negatively this would affect my body, all I knew is that I wasn’t allowed to put on weight because if I did I would receive comments and judgement. I eventually could not make a bowel movement without taking laxatives and even then I was barely making any bowel movements, I was beginning to become extremely weak, I could barely lift a tub of yoghurt.

How it’s Going

After moving to a different city, getting married and moving into our own place my relationship with food is still very complicated, I tried healing from an eating disorder on my own but it was a constant struggle between wanting to lose weight again and trying to have a positive body image as well as trying to have a healthy relationship with food… I could not do it on my own and I still can’t do it on my own.

I am now almost 25 and have only recently been diagnosed with binge eating disorder after opening up to my psychiatrist about my eating habits of binging and restricting and the struggles of how I see my body. My psychiatrist encouraged me to see my GP to get a referral so I can see a dietition, not to help me lose weight but to help me learn how to better my relationship with food.

I haven’t yet seen the diatition but when I do I plan to continue to write about the journey towards healing from binge eating disorder…. Part 2 coming soon

Changing Your Self Perception

Many of us have been shaped by what others have labeled us, “lazy” “too much” “too quiet” “ugly” “fat” and the list goes on.

Feeling stained by what others have said about us or to us. Because of how we were treated or because of what someone has said about us we look at ourselves through the lens of judgment instead of looking at ourselves through Gods eyes.

Seeing ourselves in a negative light for so long has clouded our ability to perceive ourselves as God perceives us.

It’s time to start looking through Gods lens and not our own!

How does God see us exactly?

Psalm 139 says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What does “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” mean? It means Gods creation which is you, has been so wonderfully made that God looks at you in awe, He sees you and looks at you in admiration and love. To Him you are precious, pure and beautiful.

God has been with you since you entered your mothers womb.

My parents left me when I was just a baby, this is relevant because when I think about how God as a father sees me I think about how I see my own babies, I see my babies as pure and loving and I cherish them so much and it makes me wonder what my parents must have thought about me for them to willingly give me up. I think the fact my parents were willing to give me up has been a huge part of how I see myself and for so long stopped me from seeing how God sees me because I grew up without a father’s love. Growing up the negative words spoken about me stuck with me forever, it impacted my self worth and created so much misunderstanding about God and who He really is and how He sees me.

I’m sharing this with you to try help you think about what exactly hinders you from knowing God and how He sees you.

Let’s discuss in the comments below, How do you think God sees you?

Adjusting to the Norm

Unstable to Stable

My experience when I was in the mum and Bub mental health unit started off overwhelming, before be admitted to the mum and Bub unit I was in the mental health department of hospital without my baby who was only 8 weeks old for a week. My two babies were being looked after by my husband and his family which I’ll forever be grateful for. That week without my babies was terrifying because I didn’t know what was going to happen, I felt so bad for my babies because I thought I was the worst mum in the world. I thought my poor babies deserved a mum who didn’t have mental health issues, a mum who did not want to die and a mother who was much more stable than I was.

Once I was transferred to the mum and Bub unit and reunited with my 8 week old It was a relief! I was finally back with my baby but I still didn’t have my older daughter with me and that made me feel super guilty for leaving her. Although my older daughter got to visit me twice a week for a few hours it wasn’t enough time and I missed her so much. But I was back with my littlest baby and ready to start trying to bond and build a connection with her and to figure out a good routine with her.

Even though I knew I was blessed to have my two babies I still felt stuck, I still wanted to end my life and I didn’t understand why I felt that way when I have an amazing family and surrounded by people who love me. I was still sitting in very dark thoughts, wanting everything to end. I also was still trying to adjust to being with my 8 week old, I still felt like I couldn’t settle her and felt very overwhelmed by her crying.

Being in the mental health unit I was very isolated from society, only allowed out in public with someone watching me and only for a short period of time. During this time my OCD skyrocketed, I was having lots of intrusive thoughts which made being out in public very difficult and sometimes scary. The thought of my baby being hit by a bus or someone taking my baby was a major fear and was all I could think about.

At one point I got even worse and told one of the nurses at the hospital I was going to try end my life, from that point I had someone watching me 24/7, there was always a nurse watching me even when I had to go to the toilet or have a shower and when I was sleeping, it felt very intrusive even though they were doing it for my safety I was still uncomfortable and eventually had a meltdown because I felt like my space was invaded. When I voiced to them how uncomfortable I was they then reviewed me and slowly giving my space and privacy back.

It took about a month for my mind to settle enough for the Drs to allow me to go back home.

Even after leaving the mum and Bub mental health unit I still struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I still thought my babies would be better off without me. I still felt numb and disconnected from my babies.

I could not see the good in my life no matter how much people told me how beautiful my family is, to be grateful for the things I do have but I don’t think being suicidal makes you ungrateful. I was both so grateful for the life I have while also having thoughts to harm myself.

During this dark season of my life things that are supposed to boost your mental health and wellbeing didn’t help me. I thought If I would go for a walk, if I went to the gym, had a good sleep and prayed enough that I would feel better and the thoughts would go away but these things didn’t change anything for me at least not in the short term.

I can’t exactly remember or pinpoint exactly when the dark thoughts stopped but they did stop. Even if I have low mood my mind no longer goes straight to suicidal thoughts.

I have been self harm and suicidal thought free for about 2-3 months now and at first it just didn’t feel normal to me. Being deep in depression was so normal to me that becoming stable and adjusting to mental stability was a bit of a shock. Not having so much of my mind taken up by dark thoughts, no longer wanting to sleep all the time, enjoying my time with my kids and not just trying to make it to the next day. Finding Joy in small things like going for a walk, listening to music, learning to crochet! Actually feeling Joy from these seemingly mundane things has been amazing.

When I was unstable I didn’t find joy in anything and nothing would boost my mood. Maybe I was still adjusting to the new medications I was prescribed, I didn’t see any changes to my wellbeing from taking antidepressants for 4 months, it took time to get the right medication dosage, for my sleep schedule to become more normal especially having a 3 month old at the time.

If you are currently feeling stuck in the horrors of your own mind, I just want to tell you that even though you don’t see it right now, things do change, things do get better, the medication will start to work if you give it enough time and God will not let you be stuck like this forever, God will intervene and be there for you if you let him into your pain.

Some small signs that I noticed when I was slowly starting to get better were:

• Looking forward to future events

• Being excited

• My mood being boosted while going for a walk

• Playing more with my babies

• Missing my babies when I’m away from them

• Connections to people around me started growing

• Being able to deal with my toddler’s tantrums

• Having more patience

• Spending more time in prayer

Going from horrific pain to being joyful is an adjustment especially if you’ve been stuck in your pain for a very long period of time.

Stability is Weird

After being mentally unstable for so long, spending years doing therapy and finding the right medications and praying with my whole heart to be better, I have finally found stability.

The progress I’ve made in my mental health and my relationship with God over the past few months has been incredible.

I haven’t had suicidal thoughts in 2 whole months which is a massive win and I praise God for helping and guiding me towards the right path, the right therapist and the right friends.

Daisies symbolise grounding and stability!

Even though it’s the most amazing change it’s almost a strange feeling because having a sound mind has been so foreign to me so now that I have stability it’s like I have so much more free space, I now have room for joy, peace and happiness.

I also spend so much less time sitting in dark thoughts, dark memories and a whole lot less time feeling depressed and anxious. I feel like I have so much more free time now, which means I can use my time doing more important things like be more present with my family.

When I do have a split second of depression trying to creep in I remember that it’s not from God and I’m reminded to go spend time with Him. Having this perspective has changed so much for me. Turning to God and His word right when any bad thought creeps in leads you to His peace which overcomes any anxiety or depression. God comes against all things that are not from Him.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God has always pulled me out of trouble, sometimes not instantly but in His perfect timing. He guided me out of abusive situations, He has lead me out of depression and suicidal ideation.

There is nothing God can’t do!

Isolation of Self

Inner Voice

I have self isolated and self sabotaged the possibility of new friends. I have let my negative inner voice tell me “that person won’t like you” or “they don’t want to hang out with me” or “they don’t want to talk to me” when I don’t even know if these things I’m telling myself are actually facts. These stories I’ve made up about others and myself are most likely not true. I haven’t even allowed people to have a chance to try and be friends with me out of fear of rejection.

How am I overcoming this?

• Checking in with myself and asking myself “do I know this is actually true”

• Challenging myself by putting myself out there

• Taking a step forward and asking people in my social circle if they are free to catch up

• Involving myself in social events

• Trying to ground myself when in social settings as I know group settings can make me anxious

• Talking to my support people, they have helped guide me to recognise my negative inner voice

Moving forward

I promise myself to not listen to my inner negative voice, to challenge it and not allow myself to stew in negative thought patterns. I will organise social outings with others and grow my social life and connections with other people.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Exhaustion

Therapy Burnout

Feeling burnt out from all the efforts you put in to make positive changes is challenging because you want to make the changes and learn how to navigate life in positive ways but at the same time you feel so drained and so tired. Maybe you need different types of therapy and doing the one already feels like so much.

Going about each day is draining when you’re pushing yourself to change and evolve and carrying the symptoms of mental illnesses on top of everything else.

Medications

Medication can change your energy levels or change your sleeping patterns which then causes sleep disturbances, brain fog and fatigue especially if you’re in the process of changing medication or weaning off a medication. The fatigue I’ve experienced while coming off of medication makes it difficult to do basic tasks, I feel like I’m pushing myself to do the everyday tasks I have to do.

Physical Health

Mental health & physical health both affect each other! The stress of mental health issues can cause tension in your body which can be painful. Living with physical pain is another obstacle to exercise, chores and doing proper hygiene care such as shaving or cleaning. Chronic pain or illness definitly contributes to the daily exhaustion having to push through pain as well as the daily routine tasks.

Sleep

Sleep interuptions, nightmares and restlessness can all affect your energy levels throughout the day especially if its recurrent. the fatigue can be very draining making it dangerous to drive, work performance can decrease and your general tolerance can become low which can make your patience for your kids or anyone around you very thin.

Motherhood With Depression

Self Care

Living with depression was “easier” for me to manage before having kids. I was able to rest and get more sleep, have time for myself and do a lot more self care on a regular basis.

Now I have a toddler and a 5 month old baby and I’m lucky if I remember to shave my armpits and I even catch myself forgetting to brush my teeth and cut my nails more often. There’s a lot more obstacles that seem to get in the way of caring for my body.

It can already be hard to manage self care when you’re struggling with depression but adding babies into the mix and it adds so much more effort and steps before you can tend to yourself.

If you don’t have someone with you to watch the babies you then don’t get time for yourself to do a basic need like showering, showering becomes difficult because you have to have a quick shower while you’re baby is napping and shower the toddler with you if they aren’t napping at the same time as baby.

Exercise

I didn’t start exercising until 3 months after having my second baby, after having my first baby I neglected myself and told myself I was “too exhausted” to exercise or do anything at the end of the day so every single night was spent just sitting on the couch watching Netflix.

After having my second baby I decided I really needed something for myself and after thinking for months I finally decided I just needed to force myself to go to the gym, so I signed up and got a membership to a gym and I now go to the gym at least 3 times a week doing at least 1 hour sessions or classes.

Exercise has helped my mental health significantly, I feel proud of myself after every gym session as well as having more clarity.

Exercise has given me time for myself which is very necessary when you’re a mother who doesn’t get much time alone. I’m blessed with babies that have a good sleep routine and they’re almost always in bed and sleeping by 7:30pm which allows me to go to the gym at night without needing to rush back home because my kids are safe at home with their dad and sleeping soundly.

Appointments

Dealing with mental illness or mental health issues, you might have a lot of appointments you have to attend but you can’t take your kids to your therapy sessions or sometimes taking kids to Drs appointments is just too much stress.

Getting out of the house with babies is already hard but going somewhere that requires them to sit still and be quiet is almost impossible. You either have to find someone to baby sit which can be difficult when everyone is so busy or you have to suck it up and take the babies or just end up cancelling and don’t get the care that you need.

A lot of things seem to be put on the back burner when you become a mum but it’s so important to find a way to bring self care back for your own wellbeing.

Postpartum

I’m going to tell my truth about postpartum, not to scare anyone because obviously I made it out of the trenches but so any new moms who might be pregnant or planning on having babies in the future aren’t super shocked by how bad it can get. This obviously doesn’t happen to everyone this is just what I personally experienced in both of my postpartum journeys.

Your postpartum experience will depend on your birth experience, such as if you tear and how bad the tear is, if you have an assisted birth such as the vacuum or clamps and if you had any traumatic experiences while birthing your baby.

Both postpartum experiences were a massive shock, between having stitches where no one should get stitches, the postpartum contractions, not being able to breast feed because of D-MER (Dysphoric milk ejection reflex) this condition effects women in different ways, I experienced anxiety, a sense of sadness and dread every single time I tried to breastfeed and it was so overwhelming I was told by midwives and a breastfeeding consultant to stop.

Choosing to stop breastfeeding for my mental health was an extremely tough decision, it made it harder when other people were trying to convince me to continue breastfeeding even though professionals were telling me to stop.

Eventually I was glad I stopped breastfeeding, for me it was a relief. Obviously if you can breastfeed your baby than definitely continue because there are so many benefits to breastfeeding but for myself I had to stop.

Sleep deprivation… sleep affects everything. For the first three months postpartum with both babies, I was waking up every 3 hours to feed and change nappies but it was worse with my second because I couldn’t sleep during the day because I had my toddler to look after. Sleep deprivation combined with mental illness isn’t a good combination. During postpartum mental illness can increase which is why it’s super important to have all the support you can get both personal and professional.

If you never had any mental health issues before postpartum can suddenly cause mental health issues so make sure to talk with your GP and tell them exactly how you feel, don’t be scared to express yourself fully! They are there to help you not judge you.

Postpartum absolutely sucks. I have experienced many different types of pain throughout my life and the most painful experience is definitely labor and postpartum. I could barely walk for the first 3 weeks and when I did force myself to walk around I felt exhausted from doing simple tasks.

I hope that if you’re pregnant or planning to have kids in the future that your experience is much better than mine!

1 Peter 5

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7-8) God cares about you. He cares so much that he carries your burdens. He wants to know about all your worries and wants to hear and answer your prayers. God knows us best and answers prayers in His perfect timing not our own.

It can be difficult to let go of our worries especially if you have anxiety, this is why it’s important to share with the family of God, in 1 Peter 5:9-10 it says “Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are” (1 Peter 5:9-10)

Talking and sharing with your family of believers isn’t just for your own good but other peoples too. By sharing your own suffering you open space for others to share their struggles and this creates an opportunity to pray for one another.

I recently have started sharing more with my family of believers, it has created deeper connections so I don’t feel isolated anymore.

Share your worries in the comments below so we can pray for you!

The Beauty of Life

I've started to see the beauty of life

Butterflies, waterfalls and city lights

Laughter with friends into the night

Making new connections everywhere you go

Opening your home to friends and family to eat pizza and colour in while watching a movie

Those moments that may seem insignificant are actually the foundation of happiness

Life becomes beautiful when you start to look for the beauty

Beauty in the people around you, beauty in your puppy's kisses and beauty in cooking mac and cheese on a Friday night

Life can be beautiful if you make it beautiful…

Accepting Help

Admit You Need Help

The first step to getting help is admitting to yourself that you need it. When I had my first baby I thought I had to do it on my own, I wouldn’t really accept help from anyone or at least it was rare for me to ask for any help.

Don’t Resist Help

Resisting help started when I was pregnant, I was offered a social worker at the hospital at my antenatal appointments and I always refused because I genuinely thought that they would try taking my baby off me, it was my biggest fear, but this isn’t true at all.

The fear stemmed from my past, I was taken off of my parents and put into foster care at the age of 2 so I feared my background would negatively impact the way social workers would view me especially hearing many stories of other people who went through the care system who had their babies taken away from them.

Resisting help lead to so much more anxiety and left me isolated and I carried so much fear. I struggled with extreme intrusive thoughts for the first year after having my oldest daughter, as well as nightmares mostly of losing my baby.

Acceptance

When I fell pregnant with my second baby I made the decision that I wasn’t going to try do everything on my own, I decided I would accept help from both professionals such as the social worker at the antenatal appointments, as well as family members and friends.

Reach Out

To be able to ask for help you have to first figure out what your needs are. What exactly do you need, how can you or someone else tend to that need?

You also need to figure out who is your support system. Who can you ask for help, once you know who supports you, you can then start putting your hand up when you need help. You will then know who you can call when you need someone to talk to or who can help you with house hold chores when you’re in the thick of the postpartum phase or having a bad mental health week! And hopefully you’ll have someone you trust to babysit when you need some time to yourself.

Reaping the Benefits

Since starting to ask for help and accepting help, my life has changed for the better! I got so much help when I was pregnant with my second baby, while I was pregnant I was seeing a social worker who referred me to a service called PIMHS, and another organisation called Brighter Futures. Through PIMHS I have a support worker and psychiatrist who have helped me to figure out what I need and lead me in the right direction to sourcing what I need. Now i’m starting to heal and llearning to regulate my emotions, the intrusive thoughts are not as intense and I see hope for my future!

PIMHS

Brighter Futures

Good Things Ahead

(TW Mentions of Suicide)

When you’re in the darkness of deep depression and having suicidal thoughts you lose hope for the future. You start to not care about what the future holds and nothing seems to help bring you out.

I have felt incredibly guilty for having suicidal thoughts and ideation because I question how I could possibly feel this way when I have the biggest blessings, I have 2 beautiful babies, an amazing husband and family. I have the best little dog and surrounded by lovely people. It doesn’t make sense to me that I struggle so much with having these overwhelming feelings of wanting to end my life.

After A LOT of therapy, changing medications, starting an exercise routine, involving myself in church and seeking more of an understanding of God I’m slowly starting to see that there are good things in the future! I have hope, hope that God will get me to the other side of healing.

Whoever is feeling stuck in the darkness and is thinking that they won’t live to see the future, I pray in Jesus name that any thoughts of harm will leave, no more torment or suffering, I pray who ever is reading this you start to see even the smallest glimpse of hope. Amen!

Identify Barriers

Voice

The first thing that was stopping me from healing and connecting with friends and family was my lack of voice, not voicing my prayers, my opinions or my needs. Now I speak out loud when I pray, I tell my close friends and family when I need help and I be very open about my struggles.

Knowledge

Lack of knowledge

I used to only pray in my head and I never would use Jesus’ name while praying, I have recently learnt the power prayer has when you pray in Jesus name! I didn’t have the knowledge of what it means to pray in Jesus name.

I start my prayers with “In Jesus name” because Jesus’ name holds incredible power. “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!”(John 14:13-14)

Community

I truthfully didn’t involve myself in the church community, I let anxiety and fear take over and never put my hand up to even volunteer or help within the church, this stopped me from getting to really know the other church members and created a disconnection which made me feel very isolated.

Now I try to make the effort to involve myself not just by volunteering at church but in conversations with others and not just touching the surface but being open about any struggles I have faced recently, being open about my own struggles I have noticed it has opened up more conversations for others to share their struggles and experiences which leads to more prayer over not just my own life but many others lives!

My HG Adventure

HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) is a debilitating condition that occurs in pregnancy that causes severe nausea and vomiting which can lead to dehydration and malnutrition which is dangerous for both mother and baby.

I got hit with HG in both of my pregnancies, it lasted the whole pregnancy in my first pregnancy as no medications would work, a lot of the time the medications would just come back up, I also had awful heartburn in the third trimester which made the vomiting even worse. In the early weeks of my first pregnancy I vomited so much that I started to vomit blood and that’s when I went to hospital, I definitely should have gone a lot earlier before I started bleeding from my throat!

In both pregnancies I went in and out of hospital for medications and IV drips to try avoid dehydration. In my second pregnancy the medications started working and I was still vomiting sometimes but not as often as my first pregnancy, it felt a bit more manageable in terms of the vomiting but I had constant fatigue the whole way through the pregnancy which made it very hard to look after my older daughter and keep up with the cleaning and I stopped cooking, my husband had to start cooking or we would have to order frozen pre made meals to get through the week.

I honestly genuinely hate being pregnant.

I love my babies and even want a third baby but the thought of being pregnant again turns me off from having another baby.

Alongside having HG I also had antinatal depression and anxiety. I couldn’t bond with my babies when they were inside the womb, I tried so hard to find ways to connect with them when I was pregnant such as buying cute baby clothes, playing them music and trying to talk to them but nothing seemed to work, I still felt disconnected and that disconnection lasted up until 3-4 months postpartum with both babies!

Not all pregnancies are sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it’s vomit storms and an extreme case of constipation.

Me 1% of my pregnancies:

Me 99% of my pregnencies

Mental Health

“Just pray and you will be healed”

“You need to build resilience”

“don’t see psychiatrists or psychologists, pray and you will be healed”

These phrases are well meaning but not necessarily helpful when you’re dealing with chronic mental health issues, as someone who is struggling with mental illness I used to get very confused and upset when hearing these things as I didn’t understand what they really meant and no one really would explain or go into the details of how sometimes Gods healing power isn’t instant and it takes effort from our part for us to get better.

Battling against depression, anxiety or any other mental illness can be overwhelming and it can be difficult to know where to start in terms of becoming mentally well especially if you have lived your whole life in traumatic environments and surrounded by bad influences or maybe the pain you have endured has been dismissed so you haven’t had the opportunity to even start your healing journey in the first place. I hope that through Gods will that I can point you in the right direction towards recovery.

Personally I have had my own experience with mental illness and have struggled with mental health and hope I can help you to overcome the struggles that come with mental health.

I personally believe that we need more than prayers in order to heal, my journey to overcoming grief, anxiety and pain still continues to this day andI have seen different psychologists and psychiatrists over the past 5 years and have been diagnosed with CPTSD, BPD, depression and anxiety and I also have taken different medications to help me cope with mental illness and the stressful situations I still am trying to overcome today.

Because I have been using medication and seeking professional help I have thought maybe I’m not praying enough or maybe I don’t understand God in the way you’re supposed to because there is a never ending cycle of healing. A friend once told me that we don’t put our faith in medication, instead we put our faith in God that He leads us to the right medication that will work for us and be lead to the right people so that you get the right treatment that will slowly help you overcome depression, anxiety or what ever it is you’re struggling with. Taking medication and/or doing therapy doesn’t mean you don’t put your trust in God.

Setbacks

Everyone says that healing isn’t linear and that can be such a hard pill to swallow when you have setback after setback and it feels like it’s never going to end.

I have noticed in my own journey that I have some triggers that can almost always lead to a setback.

One of my triggers is the memory of people I’m no longer in contact with, I’ve had to say goodbye to so many relationships and I have moments where I completely forget about the unhealthy and possibly toxic parts of those relationships and it makes me spiral in my mind, I start thinking that I should just contact them or start wondering if I am the one in the wrong and sit in my own negative thoughts and feelings. I have to remind myself that I need to protect my peace in order to continue healing.

Going backwards or slipping into old bad habits can feel like you don’t have control, this can lead to making impulsive decisions and doing something you regret like worrying or hurting the people you love, even though it’s not intentional you still need to be accountable to your actions.

It’s important in those moments to recognise that what you’ve done is wrong, if other people were involved that you apologise sincerely and tell them exactly where you went wrong and why you’re sorry.

Moving forward from a setback can take time, giving yourself time to recover and doing something to take your mind off the situation until you’re in a stable position to go back and deal with what ever the situation is in a healthy way!

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Having a setback can be a chance to build your resilience and an opportunity to learn how to deal with tough situations.

Support People

Find your support people

Reach out for help

When I was 8 weeks postpartum with my second baby I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and a psychiatrist told me that I wont get my mental health needs met by the church as the people at church simply might not have the capacity or knowledge to meet mental health needs, I don’t know if I agree with what was said but it made me think about who I do have in my life that is trustworthy that does have the capacity to support me in the way that I need.

I encourage you to think about who is in your life that has shown you that they do have the capacity and understanding to support you when you’re having a season of bad mental health.

A few key signs that someone will be able to support you are:

• They pray for you

• They listen without judgment

• They can sit with you when you feel stuck in dark feelings and thoughts

• Help guide you to think about what you need in your dark moments

Knowing who you can go to helps because you will not have to try work through any hard situations on your own. You’ll have a second opinion on what could help you get through it!

I have had to accept that there are people that don’t understand mental illness and don’t know what it’s like to live with CPTSD or to live with overwhelming pain and that I need to be in touch with my own needs and do what I need to do to become well, you don’t have to ignore your own needs because of someone else’s opinion!

Going to church and praying does not mean you will suddenly be healed and no longer suffer, although I do believe that God can heal in miraculous ways when it comes to complex trauma or chronic illness it might take a lot of work in order to start seeing progress in your healing journey.

In my experience it takes a combination of being involved in church, therapy, medication, prayer, physical exercise and a healthy diet, good quality sleep and enough rest to have balance mentally and physically!

In conclusion, I encourage you to seek out people that can support you and understand you in the way that you need, and to Pray to God that he will lead you to the right friends, Drs and mental health professionals as well as getting the right medication if needed.

My Testimony

We are like butterflies, becoming new through Jesus Christ and God transforming us!

I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 14 but I didn’t understand what it really meant to Know and understand God, I didn’t understand why such horrible things kept happening to me, I felt lost and used alcohol to cope. I didn’t have good guidance or influences around me, I never had a “normal” father daughter relationship so I never knew how to have a father daughter relationship with God. All these things impacted my prayer life and faith.

I don’t want to dwell too much on what happened in the past, I definitely went through hardships as I was growing up and didn’t know how I was going to get out. But one day, 5 years ago I was going for a walk and while I was walking I was praying and seeking God and I remember I just suddenly felt like God was telling me that I was going to move. I wasn’t told where I was moving to or how but 3 months later I met my husband, a year later and I was married and moved to a different city.

I truly believe that God moved me, He moved me away from abusive and toxic relationships, He moved me away and out of alcoholism, He moved me to a loving, caring and supportive family and community, there is so much God moved me out of and I’m so blessed and grateful for the life I have today with my husband, our two daughters and our little dog Bluey and my lovely father, mother and sister in laws!

Now I want to know more about God and who he is as a father, I have an amazing support system both personal (friends and family) and professional (Support worker, Psychiatrist and GP) I prayed for the life I have now for years when I was a teenager and I know teenage me would be so proud and so in awe of God and his good work.

If you feel stuck in a situation I encourage you to pray in Jesus name that He will pave a path for you and lead you to a place where you can heal, grow and prosper.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”

Psalms‬ ‭37‬:‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Welcome

Hello Overcomers,

Welcome to The Overcomer Blog, we will be diving straight in and discussing mental health, christianity, marraige and motherhood. We have a lot to unpack so bare with me and keep on reading!

Firstly I would like to pray over this Blog and also for you, whoever is reading this I pray in Jesus name that their ears will be open to hearing your word God, May God guide me as I write each blog so that I speak to each and every person who sets their eyes on this website, Lord I pray for clarity, peace of mind and that your truth will be revealed to all who are reading this blog. I pray that who ever is in a season of darkness that you draw close to them so that they may know that darkness is only for a season and light will come. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!